Being Thankful

God has blessed us so tremendously.  I have so much to be thankful for, and yet sometimes I find myself focusing on the small things that don't go as planned as opposed to focusing on the the bigger picture - that God truly has blessed us beyond what we deserve, and that even when things don't go as I've planned them, they are never outside of God's plan or control. 

For example, Chris and I prayed for several years that God would bless us with children despite what doctors had told us - that without in vitro we would most likely never have them.  God did indeed answer our prayers, and gave us our daughter Avery.  We were so excited, and I immediately started planning things out - yes, I was one of those moms who even typed out a birth plan and took it to the hospital, as if I could control how that was going to turn out! 

My plan:  go into labor naturally, be able to labor and deliver without pain meds, have a happy, healthy baby and get to go home within a day or two!
God's plan:  be a week overdue, have to be induced with medications, labor for 2 days with no progress and wind up with a c-section, have complications (gestational hypertension for me, a slight fever on day 2 for Avery), stay a week in the hospital before we get to go home...yet still wind up with a happy, healthy baby!

Hmmm...

My plan:  breastfeed Avery until she was a year, then wean her and NEVER have to supplement with formula. 
God's plan:  5 months into Avery's life, bring ANOTHER little one on the scene (surprise!), which results in a decreased milk supply and (out of extreme necessity) supplementation with formula by 7 months and almost complete weaning to bottles and formula by 8 months.

You'd think I'd learn, right?  God's plan isn't always mine, and yet LOOK at those blessings - a baby when the doctors said it wasn't going to happen (a happy, healthy baby no less!), and then ANOTHER baby when we least expected it!  We are so excited about this little one God is even now forming and growing inside me, and can't wait for June to arrive so we can meet this new little one, don't misunderstand!  Yet, I've struggled a bit with being distracted by a disappointment that I wasn't able to keep breastfeeding exclusively, and with fear that this will wind up as another c-section (since my chances are pretty high that it will) vs. being able to have this one more naturally.  Why is it so hard to just focus on the blessing and be thankful for what God has given me rather than be distracted by what He has taken away?

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."  ~ 1 Thesssalonians 5:16-18

Choose to see the blessings today, and be thankful for what He has done!

Daddy & His Girl



Such big smiles!



Hi!

Giggles



Cutting those teeth - we have 2 poking through on the bottom now!



Baby #2 - Due June 18, 2012!

Moving Along

Time seems to be getting away from me rather quickly these days!  And what, you may ask, have I been doing with my days?  Well, this..


Momma & Avery



...and this...

Love our Gymini!

...and this...

...and our Jumperoo!



...and this...

Post-Storytime :)

...and, well, you get the idea!



Hangin' with Tess

 

Snuggles with Daddy after Bathtime





Going to Church in all our Cuteness!

 It's so hard to believe that Avery is almost 6 months old!!  (She'll be six months exactly next week, on the 14th.)  Avery loves to be read to (and enjoys chewing on the books afterwards), is fascinated by Tess, and has started balancing herself when we sit her upright well enough to play like that for quite a while.  She loves jumping up and down in her jumperoo, and sucking on her toes, and just the other day rolled herself over onto her tummy (and then got a foot stuck in the crib slats and needed Mommy to come rescue her!).  She's growing so big and changing so much!  We have her 6 month doctor's appointment on the 17th - we are anxious to see just how big she's gotten in the past few months. 

Speaking of getting older, I can't believe I'll be turning 30 here shortly...yikes.  Chris and I were talking about that the other day and laughing about how when you're in your teens and even 20s, 30 seems so far away and people in their 30s just seems so...mature and together??  Like they know what they're doing and have it all figured out...  Riiiight...  Now that I'm here (and Chris has been here for a few years - Lol!) we realize just how silly that is!  I don't feel any more "mature and together" now than I did when I turned 20!  I wonder if that will change when I turn 40, or 50, or...  Do you ever really feel "mature and together?"  The only things that seem to have changed to me are the responsibilities I have - a husband and child (ok, and dog!) - and the roles that I fill - wife and mother.  I'm sure in some ways I have changed and matured, but it doesn't really feel like it.  I guess time is just moving along faster than I can really keep up.



Smiles for Momma (love those clean diapers!)



The "Little" Time-Wasters

So, in case you haven't noticed, my procrastinating nature has already kicked in!  I didn't write anything last week, and I would claim pure "busy-ness" but that's only half of it - the other half is my new fascination with Pinterest.  In case you don't know what that is, Pinterest is a virtual pinboard - you can personalize your account to have a variety of pinboards, to which you "pin" (i.e., bookmark) things from the web that interest you.  For example, I have a pinboard for recipes, one for grown-up crafts, one for kids' stuff, etc.  I have found TONS of great ideas for activities to do with Avery when she gets bigger, recipes I can't wait to try, DIY house projects, sewing patterns and tutorials...  Every time I log on to that website I get sucked into a virtual time-warp as I browse through thousands of pins.  It's amazing, but also amazingly addictive!

Recognizing my growing addiction to this fascinating website, I do have to exert some self-control:  I only log on during the day when 1.) Avery is down for a nap, and 2.) I do not have any pressing chores or tasks to do (pressing being the operative word there!).  But even with implementing some self-control, I've come to a realization about myself (and, I would venture to add, society in general?):  I spend far too much time on "time-wasters."  Perhaps everyone's definition of time-wasters is different, but mine focuses primarily on web-based things (um, like Pinterest and Facebook) that you mindlessly spend hours on when you could and/or should be doing something else that's more constructive.  Does that mean that websites like Facebook and Pinterest are bad things?  Not necessarily!  Facebook can be a great way to keep in touch with friends and family and Pinterest can be a great tool for keeping track of constructive ideas and projects you want to try.  The problem comes from the amount of time that's spent on them - it's probably not necessary to spend hours at a time on either of those websites.  These harmless little time-wasters can all too often grow into something not so little, or harmless.

One of the many things I truly love about my husband is the way he challenges me, sometimes without even realizing he's doing it. He expressed to me this week the need for adults in our church to be willing to give up just a little bit of time each week to spend with a student in our youth group who desired some discipleship.  Chris and I both share a conviction (born of experience and Biblical truth) that deep spiritual growth will not happen if people just come to church on Sundays and Wednesdays or even attend the occasional extra Bible study or prayer meeting; deep spiritual growth requires personal investment, both by the person seeking growth and by an older Christian willing to invest in personally discipling the seeker.  There are some older youth who are ready for that, but not enough spiritually mature adults who've expressed an interest.  Chris's comment was that people don't realize that they don't have to plan anything extravagant to disciple someone, all they have to do is being willing to spend some time with them.  He turned to me and said, "I know you're busy, but isn't there just one hour every week when you could hang out with a girl from the youth group?  Invite her over while you take care of Avery, cook or do laundry, take her with you to get groceries...just invite her to be a part of your life for one hour?  That's really all it takes; [the students] just want someone to talk to and be there to answer their questions."

Now, Chris was just trying to prove a point - that people really do have time for discipleship - and he didn't know that I'd already been contemplating and praying about how I organized and spent my time during the day, so I know he wasn't trying to give me a guilt trip.  I also know he wasn't trying to express a disappointment in the fact that I haven't been intentional about discipleship since before Avery's arrival (believe it or not, stay-at-home-moms do not just sit around all day - I have been a little occupied).  But his words really did hit on something God had already been speaking to my heart about:  Couldn't I take an hour that I might normally spend on a little time-waster and instead spend that hour investing in the life of a teenage girl who's longing for spiritual growth?  Yes, I could.

So here's my question:  What are the time-wasters in your life?  Would you be willing to pray that God would open doors for you to somehow make an eternal investment with some of that time you'd normally spend on [you-fill-in-the-blank]?

From Our Kitchen

One of my favorite hobbies is creating and trying out new recipes in my kitchen.  I've been asked frequently if I like to "cook or bake?"  The answer is both!  Of course, having a baby to care for makes spending a lot of time creating in my kitchen somewhat unrealistic, but I've been finding ways lately to utilize nap times and the bouncy seat (on the counter - yes, I know it's bad but she likes to watch me work and for now she's still fairly stationary, plus I never walk away from her when she's up there!) to continue doing what I love. 

Although I love being in my kitchen, I also tend to hurt myself there...a lot.  I've given myself bruises, nasty second degree burns, too many cuts and nicks with knives, vegetable peelers (yes, veggie peelers - who knew those could be a weapon??), and metal cans to counts, etc.  I even managed to start a small fire once in grad school by accidentally setting a pan of brownies fresh out of the oven on top of a burner that was turned on.  Did you know that ceramic baking pans can explode if you do that?  Well, they can, and mine did!  Fortunately no one was actually in the kitchen when it happened, so no one got hurt.

Anyway, I thought I'd post a couple of recipes for things we've eaten lately in the Marsh household that we really liked (and caused no accidents while making).  The first two originally came from Allrecipes.com (my favorite place to find new recipes, although I usually change them up a bit), the last is a family favorite.

Banana Crumb Muffins

Banana Crumb Muffins

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1/2 tsp cinnamon
3 over-ripe bananas, mashed
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar

1 egg

1/3 cup unsalted butter, melted

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 cup toasted pecans

Topping:

1/3 cup brown sugar

1/4 tsp cinnamon

2 Tbsp flour

1 Tbsp unsalted butter

Preheat your oven to 375.  Lightly coat a muffin pan with cooking spray (or use muffin papers). 

Mix the dry ingredients in a small bowl.  In a separate bowl, beat together bananas, sugars, egg, melted butter, and vanilla.  Stir in pecans, then dry ingredients until just moistened.

Spoon the batter into the muffin pans (aim for 2/3 full).  For the topping, cut the butter into the sugar, cinnamon, and flour to make loose crumbs; spoon this over the batter before putting it in the oven.

Bake for 18-20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the muffins comes out clean. 

  

Slider-Style Mini Burgers (Sorry, no picture of this one!)

1 lb. ground beef

1/2 pkg onion soup mix*

1/4 cup mayo

1 cup shredded cheese

1 pkg King's Hawaiian dinner rolls

Sliced pickles**

Preheat your oven to 350.  Cut two pieces of aluminum foil large enough to cover the rolls; spray foil with cooking spray.  Take the rolls out of the cardboard tray but don't break them apart - use a bread knife to slice halfway down and lift the top off; place the bottom portion on top of the sprayed foil.  Brown the ground beef with the onion soup mix and drain the grease off.  Mix in the mayo and cheese, then spread the entire mixture on top of the bread.  Place the top portion back on the sliders, then cover tightly with the foil.  Place in the oven for 20-30 minutes (just until it's heated through).  Serve with pickles.

*I try to avoid onion soup mix because of the MSG, but until recently I didn't have an alternative.  I just found a recipe on Allrecipes.com for it, so I'm going to try that the next time I make these!

**The recipe originally calls for dill pickles, but I prefer our homemade sweet pickles on these (see recipe below)

Sweet Hamburger Pickles

1 qt. sliced dill pickles (the cheapest you can find)

2 cups sugar

1 Tbsp mixed pickling spices tied in a bag (use a cheese cloth or scrap of fabric for this)

1/4 of an onion, left in a chunk

Drain the pickle slices and place them in a bowl.  Mix the sugar in and add the bag of spices; let this set on the counter for several hours.  Place the mixture back in the jar (or in any airtight container that has a flat top), add the onion chunk, seal and place in your refrigerator for 4 days before eating.  You'll want to turn the container once a day (hence the need for a flat top on the container) to keep it mixed well.  When you have eaten the pickles, you can use the juice to make another batch, but you may have to add more sugar along with a fresh onion chunk.



Sweet Hamburger Pickles



Enjoy!



Tess the Mess

I have always loved animals.  Growing up we had a variety of interesting animals around the house:  the basset hound Rosie who liked to run away (a lot!), the half-basset-half-?? named Cubbie who liked to terrorize my best friend Lyndsay, a rabbit we named Peter until he/she had babies (oops!) and we changed her name to Sally, the hamster Thumper (named after watching Bambi) who liked to keep everyone up at night and frequently escaped his cage, my crazy parakeet Noah who bit everyone and screeched so much on Saturday mornings I started putting his cage in the closet at nights, and the family beagle, Riley, who was a truly great pet until he started using the house as his restroom and had to find a new home.

So naturally, when Chris and I got married I told him I wanted a dog.  He said we had to wait until we had a yard, so I waited patiently and when we moved to Arkansas and bought our first house what did I do?  Immediately started looking at puppies!  We decided we wanted a boxer, and a friend told me they knew someone with boxer puppies.  I fell in love at first sight with our little Sedona.



Sweet Sedona

Can you blame me?  She was beautiful.  And a great dog!  But she had what we referred to as a "drinking problem."  On a daily basis she would drink, and drink, and drink water until she threw it up on whatever or whoever happened to be close by.  We laughed about it and questioned our vet but he wasn't concerned, so we weren't either...until she turned a year old and stopped eating.  We found a new vet but it was already too late - our sweet puppy had a congenital kidney disorder, was massively anemic, and wasn't going to make it.  We were heartbroken.  In all my experiences with pets, this was the first time I had to make the decision to put one down; I don't think I stopped crying for well over a week.

The Mess

That was May 2010.  So what did I do in June 2010?  Bought a new puppy!!  Enter Tess the Mess.  I should have known by the mischievous look on her face that she was going to be a handful from day one, but I was blinded by her cuteness.  Aside from the fact that we found out several months after we bought her that she had demodectic mange (!) and had to pay for 2 rounds of treatment to get rid of it, this little girl is a jumper, a chewer, a digger, a barker, a licker, a cuddler, and the neediest dog I've ever met.  She was impossible to crate train (she HATES being alone), so we have to put her outside when we leave - the result of which is a chewed-and-scratched-up door frame and massive holes all over the yard.  But she can be very sweet and fun, and the rest was all tolerable as long as our wonderful neighbors, the Moore family, were next door with Tess's sister, Lily - we just took a board off the fence and let the dogs play together outside all day long, running back and forth between the yards and taking all their energy and neediness out on each other.

Me & "Jealous Pete" Tess

Tess was a bit confused when we brought Avery home - she didn't quite understand who this new little person was, but she figured out very quickly that I no longer had all the time (or patience) in the world for her and she was no longer the center of attention in our house - and she didn't like it.  I became even more grateful for Lily's presence because Tess really started driving me crazy - following me around wherever I went, walking in front of me and then stopping so I nearly trip on her, trying to get in between me and Avery when we had floor time, etc.  "Jealous Pete" became her new nickname, but at least I could kick her outside to play with Lily when she really got on my nerves.  But just when I thought I was getting a handle on having a dog and a baby, our fabulous neighbors and their dogs moved into a new home, and things in the Marsh household got really interesting. 

Let's just say that Chris and I have both threatened our dog recently with everything from a new home to an early death and burial in the backyard so no one would ever find out.  Don't get me wrong, I still love my dog, but I now have ZERO patience with her needy-shenanigans.  My biggest issue with her is not the destruction of personal property or the annoying habit she has of following me around EVERYWHERE, it's her jealousy of the baby and the fact that she barks at her when we go out in the backyard, making her cry and me lose my temper.  I don't know how to break her of that, and honestly, I'm not sure I have the time (or desire) to invest in it.  Does that make me a bad puppy-mama?

When I complained to my sister about The Mess, her response was, "Why do you think a lot of people who have dogs get rid of them when they have kids?"  I totally get it now.

Motherhood: An Exercise of Faith



Our Little Peanut

 I mentioned in my first post how I love being a stay-at-home mom, how I consider it a privilege and a blessing to be able to do this each and every day, and how it's the most challenging and humbling task I have ever faced.  I still have those slightly panicky moments sometimes where it hits me just how little I know and how huge a responsibility parenthood is.  It's scary sometimes...but I wouldn't change a thing!

One thing I've come to realize in the past four months of being a mommy is that motherhood/parenthood is a HUGE act of faith.  I never thought about it in those terms before Avery was born, but I can honestly say that there are times I would not be able to function were it not for my faith in a loving, all-knowing, all-powerful God.  While I used to worry or be scared of very little, when it comes to my daughter I find myself afraid of everything now - there is so much in this world that is beyond our control.  For example, everytime I put Avery down to sleep at night, I pray fervently over her that our Father will watch over her and protect her while she sleeps, keeping her safe and healthy through the night; I'm sure many a parent says that same prayer over their own sleeping babies.  But I have found that I also have to pray for myself, that He will give me peace of mind and "help my unbelief" (see Mk 9:24) because if I don't, I will find myself awakened several times during the night or even lying awake for hours, paralyzed by the fear that all is not well in that little crib just down the hall.  She's always sleeping soundly when I go check on her, but for some reason that doesn't always ease my fear.  This fear could so easily cripple my life and my faith if I let it. 

I've been meditating a lot lately on 2 Timothy 1:6-7, and 1 Peter 5:6-11.  Paul and Peter in these passages are talking to ministers of the Gospel about exercising their ministry and withstanding persecution, looking forward to the eternal promise God gives to those who belong to Him.  As a wife and mother, a huge part of my ministry is caring for my husband, our daughter and our home, so I don't think it's pulling scripture out of context to say that these verses are reminding me that this intense fear is not from God, but the enemy's way of keeping me from exercising my ministry effectively.  If I allow fear to control my life, how can I teach my daughter to trust in the Lord or set a godly example for her of what a wife and mother should be?  I must "humble [myself] under His mighty hand...casting all [my] anxieties on Him...be sober-minded, be watchful," and resist my adversary the devil by standing firm in my faith, trusting that "the God of all grace, who has called [me] to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish [me]"...and my family (1 Pe 5:6-10).  I know I won't be able to always keep those I love from harm, but these verses help me remember that that's not exactly my job.  My job is to treasure them, care for them and do all I can to keep them safe - and trust the God who loves us and saves us for all those millions of things I can't control.

(See also Matthew 6:25-34 - a great reminder about the uselessness of worry and the love of our omniscient Provider!)

A New Endeavor

So, I figured it was about time for me to jump on the blog-bandwagon, but I've got to be perfectly honest - I've never been great at keeping a journal with any kind of consistency, so the chances of me being consistent with blogging are extremely slim.  That being said, I will give it my best shot!  (And hopefully eventually figure out how to work all these gadgets and gizmos in designing my blog...)

A few things you need to know about me:

1. I'm a stay-at-home-mom, and I love it!  It is by far THE MOST challenging and humbling task I have ever undertaken, and I feel truly blessed to have the opportunity to do it.
2. I'm a self-confessed nerd.  Yep, and unashamed!  I grew up on Star Trek and Narnia, and I still love a good sci-fi flick or fantasy novel.  I love to read, and do it as often as I can.  And since I used to be an English teacher, most of the books I read are still Young Adult (YA) fiction.
3. I love to cook/bake and try new recipes.  My family and friends are frequent guinea pigs for me, and although they often give me funny looks when I describe new recipes I'm trying out, they usually wind up wanting the recipe after they try it... :)
4. I have a somewhat obsessive personality.  I don't know what else to call it, really.  I tend to get on these kicks where I'm really into something and spend lots of time and energy on it until the next thing comes along.  Current obsession?  Cloth diapers!
5. I am a work in progress!  I do strive to live my life in a way that is pleasing to God, but there are many areas in which I know I fall short.  I'm so thankful for God's graciousness and mercy in my life and the way he patiently shapes me a little more each day.

I don't really know why I've suddenly felt compelled to start a blog except to say that I want my life, my family's life to be a blessing to others.  You never know what will minister to someone else, how God can use the strangest things to draw attention to his glory... My prayer is that He will be glorified through this new endeavor!

**Side note:  I felt like I needed to explain the name of our blog!  When Chris was playing basketball for the K-State Wildcats, a friend of his used to annoy the coach during games by holding up a sign that said "Marsh Madness" with Chris's number on it and constantly riding him to put Chris in.  The memory still makes him laugh, and up until last year, Chris even still had the original sign.  That, coupled with the fact that our lives are often a little bit crazy, made me think it was a fitting name... :)