Motherhood: An Exercise of Faith



Our Little Peanut

 I mentioned in my first post how I love being a stay-at-home mom, how I consider it a privilege and a blessing to be able to do this each and every day, and how it's the most challenging and humbling task I have ever faced.  I still have those slightly panicky moments sometimes where it hits me just how little I know and how huge a responsibility parenthood is.  It's scary sometimes...but I wouldn't change a thing!

One thing I've come to realize in the past four months of being a mommy is that motherhood/parenthood is a HUGE act of faith.  I never thought about it in those terms before Avery was born, but I can honestly say that there are times I would not be able to function were it not for my faith in a loving, all-knowing, all-powerful God.  While I used to worry or be scared of very little, when it comes to my daughter I find myself afraid of everything now - there is so much in this world that is beyond our control.  For example, everytime I put Avery down to sleep at night, I pray fervently over her that our Father will watch over her and protect her while she sleeps, keeping her safe and healthy through the night; I'm sure many a parent says that same prayer over their own sleeping babies.  But I have found that I also have to pray for myself, that He will give me peace of mind and "help my unbelief" (see Mk 9:24) because if I don't, I will find myself awakened several times during the night or even lying awake for hours, paralyzed by the fear that all is not well in that little crib just down the hall.  She's always sleeping soundly when I go check on her, but for some reason that doesn't always ease my fear.  This fear could so easily cripple my life and my faith if I let it. 

I've been meditating a lot lately on 2 Timothy 1:6-7, and 1 Peter 5:6-11.  Paul and Peter in these passages are talking to ministers of the Gospel about exercising their ministry and withstanding persecution, looking forward to the eternal promise God gives to those who belong to Him.  As a wife and mother, a huge part of my ministry is caring for my husband, our daughter and our home, so I don't think it's pulling scripture out of context to say that these verses are reminding me that this intense fear is not from God, but the enemy's way of keeping me from exercising my ministry effectively.  If I allow fear to control my life, how can I teach my daughter to trust in the Lord or set a godly example for her of what a wife and mother should be?  I must "humble [myself] under His mighty hand...casting all [my] anxieties on Him...be sober-minded, be watchful," and resist my adversary the devil by standing firm in my faith, trusting that "the God of all grace, who has called [me] to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish [me]"...and my family (1 Pe 5:6-10).  I know I won't be able to always keep those I love from harm, but these verses help me remember that that's not exactly my job.  My job is to treasure them, care for them and do all I can to keep them safe - and trust the God who loves us and saves us for all those millions of things I can't control.

(See also Matthew 6:25-34 - a great reminder about the uselessness of worry and the love of our omniscient Provider!)